Friday, December 14, 2012
We bereaved parents know the path that these parents are just now beginning on. We know some of the emotions they will feel and the questions they will ask. Why did my child have to die? My son wasn’t feeling well this morning, why didn’t I keep him home from school today, because if I did he wouldn’t be dead? Was my daughter scared as she took her last breath? Did she know how much I loved her? Was she calling for me? Why couldn’t I save and protect her? We know the bittersweet moments they will encounter when they see their dead child’s classmates reach milestones that should have been met by their own children. We know what they will miss as there are elementary, middle, high school and college graduations, first loves, first dates, engagements, marriages and grandchildren. They will miss watching their children grow to be who they were meant to be. No one should have to know this pain. No one should have to walk this path. My heart and tears go out to all of the children that are now in heaven, the parents, family members and friends of those children and the community that must try to wrap their hearts and heads around this tragic event.
Friday, December 7, 2012
Thursday, December 6, 2012
A few nights ago I work in the morning after having a terrible dream. I don't remember much of the dream, but what I do remember had me in tears upon waking. Gus was in the hospital and breathing through a ventilator. I was sitting in a chair holding him while he looked up at me and I could tell that he wanted to stop being on the ventilator. I asked him, "Gus do you want to stop breathing?" and he nodded yes "Are you sure you want to stop breathing and leave us?" Then I woke up. I don't frequently have dreams of my children, any of them, but when they are like this, so real and so emotional, it makes me scared that something terrible is going to happen.