In October
2004, when I turned 24 and after having a disappointing end to a long-distance
quasi-dating relationship with someone, I came to the realization that I
probably wouldn’t meet the man for me until after I was 30…until after I
stopped looking at every man that I met as a potential husband.
In November
2004, the same teacher friend of mine was invited to a wedding. She was high
school friends with the groom and she invited me to go as her guest. I was
happy to attend, as I was looking forward to a night of fun and celebration.
Little did I know what attending that wedding would mean for me and my future.
My friend and I entered the church, and were greeted by two men: one that I
recognized and Jon, who happened to be home on leave from Key West, where he
was serving in the Coast Guard, and was able to attend his high school friend’s
wedding. We chatted for a couple minutes, as my friend knew both men, and then
found seats in the church. Unbeknownst to be, Jon made a point to sit next to
me in the pew during the wedding ceremony. I later learned from Jon that when I
walked into the church he said to himself, “That’s the quiet girl from the
party. What’s her name?” While Jon was trying to remember who I was, I thought
I was meeting him for the first time. Throughout the course of the night, Jon
made a point to be near me, though the pleasantries were short-lived. Between the
ceremony and the reception the three of us (my friend, Jon and I) stopped at a
local McDonald’s. During that time, Jon thought it would be a good thing to
tell me about how mean he was to his geometry teacher. Seeing as how I was a
math teacher, those stories didn’t go over very well and I stopped talking to
him, in jest, for the duration of our time at McDonald’s. During the reception
he asked me to dance and I obliged, thinking, “What will it hurt to dance with
him? I’ll never see him again.” At the end of one dance, after he asked for
another, I told him that I wouldn’t dance with him until he danced with my
friend—the one that invited me to the wedding in the first place. According to
Jon, he ran to my friend, grabbed her up from the chair and told her that she
needed to dance with him. By the end of the night, when my friend and I needed
to leave Jon and I had jokingly planned our wedding, given him a kiss on the cheek
and held hands (I thought I was humoring a man who’d had a little too much to
drink). At the very end of the night, Jon asked if I would walk with him back
to his hotel room (he was staying at the hotel attached to the reception hall
that night) to grab his coat. Since it was just a few steps away I went with
him. While in the room, Jon asked for my phone number. I gave it to him with
the full expectation that he would NEVER call once he was 100% sober. To my
surprise, he then asked if he could have a kiss. I told him that he could have
one on the cheek. I cupped his head in my hands, turned his face and kissed him
on the cheek. I later found out that if I hadn’t done that, Jon would have tried
to steal a kiss from me!
Much to my
surprise, Jon did call me the next week and almost every day after. During that
first week of phone calls we made plans to meet the day after Thanksgiving at
his mom’s house so that he could cook me dinner. Some thought I was crazy to
meet this man I had just met. What was intended to be a dinner and movie turned
into a 27-hour first date. We ate, we talked, we watched a movie, we talked
some more, I met two of his friends, he showed me where he made memories with
his grandpa, I met his mother and I said good-bye. A few days after that night,
Jon’s leave ended and he returned to Key West.
Between
Thanksgiving and February 2005, Jon and I spoke every day for at least two
hours. There were some weekends where we would need to end our conversation
simply to recharge phone batteries. Fortunately for us, Cingular had free
mobile-to-mobile minutes, so we were able to speak as often and as long as we
wanted. We were so appreciative to Cingular that we actually invited a
representative to our wedding. We talked about everything from childhood
memories to views on abortion to politics to what we would do if we won a
bazillion dollars and everything in between.
In February
2005, Jon came to visit me while he was on leave. We had a wonderful week that
was filled with dinners, face-to-face conversation, a dinner theater and a
humorous night in what could have passed for a pimp room from the 1980’s. At
the end of that visit, we had already decided that I would travel down to Florida
for my spring break the next month.
In March
2005, I boarded an airplane…alone…and flew to Miami. Since my mom and step-dad
spend four months a year in Florida, the plan was that Jon would drive up from
Key West, pick me up at the airport, and then we would drive across the state
to Anna Maria Island to stay with my parents. I landed in Miami and Jon and I
waited in baggage claim for my suitcase. When my bag finally came through, Jon
led me to his car, loaded my suitcase, escorted me to the passenger side of the
Jeep Wrangler, opened the door helped me in, squatted down (he was parked in a
parking ramp), and proposed to me. While my subconscious should have expected the
proposal, my conscious-self did not, so I hit Jon and told him to get in the jeep.
He was shocked, as he was really hoping for a yes. He took a moment to gather
himself, before pulling the ring out of the box, dropping it in the jeep, where
he feared that he would lose the ring if it fell through and open drain hole in
the floor of the Jeep, and stated, “Fuck.” My response: “Not until we’re
married.” Jon found the ring, picked it up, we got it on my finger, he DID get
in the Jeep and we began our trek across Florida.
It was an
amazing week. We spent time with two of my parents, we visited local
attractions, we were able to announce that we were newly engaged and we began
to plan our wedding, which was to occur not quite 5 months later. At the end of
the week, we drove back to Miami, Jon dropped me off at the airport and I flew
home…leaving a part of my heart in Florida, while carrying part of Jon’s with
me back to Wisconsin.
In May 2005,
Jon finally received his discharge orders. He packed up everything he owned
into his Jeep Wrangler and drove from Key West to Wisconsin as quickly and as
safely as he could. Over the next 3.5 months we planned our wedding and tried
to get settled to begin our new life together.
It’s hard to
believe that it’s been so long since our courtship began, and it’s amazing to
think of all that we’ve been through since then. We’ve been through
unemployment, huge blows to each of our self-esteems, relocations, house
purchasing, family conflicts, stupid fights and resolutions between ourselves, working
together on my diabetes, infertility, losing our children, bringing a child
home, raising our children and trying to keep our relationship alive all at the
same time. Jon and I have had many ups and many downs. We each have moments in
our relationship that we’re not proud of, but we work together to move beyond
those and make ourselves stronger. He believes in me, holds me when I don’t believe
in myself, supports me to become a better me and makes me want to be a better
wife and mother. Jon is, and has always been my soul mate.