Friday, September 23, 2016

Unexpected Trigger

I was triggered in a new way during my exercise class last night. We were working on the instructed exercise, and when we were finished the instructor said, "I've never seen such determination. You're ding great!" Then, at the end of class, he praised us again for our determination and work during class and that we should give two other people in class high fives.

While holding my plank (his first comment), it just struck me how invisible emotional determination is. I doubt he's ever seen the determination of a bereaved parent hold it together at work, the store or a family gathering to not break down in sobs. I doubt he's ever seen teh determination of a bereaved parent to try to create non-sad memories on a child's birth or death day. I doubt he's ever seen the determination of a bereaved parent wake up each and every day and live a life with pieces of a heart missing. I take it back, he has seen it, he just doesn't know he's seen it.

So, to all my fellow bereaved parents who are determined every day to figure out how to live this life, I give you high fives. I give you hugs. I say: You made it another day. Great job.

Wednesday, September 21, 2016

It's been 3 months

Yes, it has been three months since my last post. I feel bad guilty that I have not been making time for me, but when you move, have a traveling husband, birthdays to plan for and school starting, I guess that doesn't leave room for me time, though it should.

Thursday, June 16, 2016

Still stressed out, but moving forward

Life is so hectic right now. While I thought things were set with Jon starting his new job on June 27, I was very wrong.

Sunday, May 29, 2016

We are moving back!

Around 4pm on May 26, Jon received a phone call from his former/next boss and received a job offer. The salary wasn't quite what I was hoping for (who doesn't want more money), but it was in our acceptable range, and we are moving back to Wisconsin.

Monday, May 16, 2016

Quick Update

How did a whole month pass without a blog post when I was trying to post weekly? I don't know. Life, I suppose. A lot has been going on, and sometimes it's just too mentally taxing to thing through it.

Sunday, April 10, 2016

10dpo--not what you think!

How funny that I get to use the abbreviation dpo to mean two different things. It used to be "days past ovulation" as the only meaning I know. Now it means "days post op". I guess this means I am in the process of fully accepting that we are done having kids. I really didn't come on here to write about being done with kids, but sometimes that happens. Perhaps at the end I'll get back to Jon being 10dpo.

Thursday, March 31, 2016

Jon is Having Bariatric Surgery

I am currently sitting in the surgery center waiting room in Des Moines while Jon is undergoing bariatric surgery. I know that this surgery is done successfully all the time, but there is still the risk of death and I'm scared.

Friday, March 25, 2016

Toddler Open Gym

Following up from my post about things that have been going on, the city I live in is lacking in opportunities in the winter for toddlers to burn off energy.

Wednesday, March 9, 2016

Trip to Madison

When we lived in Wisconsin, Jon's job required a fair bit of travel. We were notified via mail that his Marriott Rewards points would expire if they went unused. So, a friend and I are taking a girls weekend trip back to Wisconsin

Tuesday, March 1, 2016

I miss this place, but not the emotions that come with it

I miss coming here to write. I have things going on in my life that I need an outlet for, so why am I not coming here to get the out and process them? Because dealing with the emotions that come with them is hard.