I've never really had the bittersweet and conflicting thoughts of knowing that if Oscar and Bella had lived that Tittle and Gus would never have been conceived and Gus wouldn't be here. That wasn't my reality. My reality is that Oscar, Bella and Tittle DID die. My reality is that Gus did live. Within the last couple of weeks, those thoughts have surfaced regarding Firefly. I wasn't prepared for them.