This morning I had an appointment at the Diabetes Center located at the same hospital that I will be delivering Lucy. The appointment was at the same time that I usually have an appointment for my NST's on Mondays and Fridays. Usually, Lucy kicks me on the drive to the hospital. This morning she didn't.
My blood sugar was high this morning, which can make her lethargic, so at the beginning I wasn't too worried. During my diabetes appointment, I still wasn't feeling her move a lot. I met up with Jon (who had a different appointment at the same time), and while he was having labs drawn I went to get something cold to drink. That didn't help. I had Jon talk to Lucy, which usually gets movement from her. That didn't work. Jon convinced me that we should just walk up to L&D to get checked out. We were already there, we were worried, we should go.
I was fine, up until the point that we were standing in L&D and the nurse asked me my name. Then I couldn't talk for fear of crying. I didn't want to be there. I didn't want to be worried for the life of my baby. I didn't want to have ANOTHER loss. Jon took over and we got brought to a room. The nurse put the heart rate monitor on first. It didn't take too long to find the heartbeat, but it took longer (by seconds) than when I'm doing NST's. As soon as I heard Lucy's heart beating, I felt so much better, bt I hate that I have the fear. I know that with our history fear is normal and expected, but that doesn't make having those terrifying moments any easier.
It turns out I was having contractions about every 5 minutes, but they weren't lasting very long. After being monitored for a bit my doctor was called and he wanted the nurse to check my cervix; I'm still at 4cm, which is what I was at on Monday. Since there was no change in my cervix, we were sent home, as expected. I keep having contractions. They're not painful or regular, so we'll see what happens over the next couple of days. I have another NST tomorrow, then the weekend, then another doctor's appointment with cervical check on Monday. I just hope she arrives soon so that I can stop analyzing when/how I feel her move and just know that she's here safely. I know there are no guarantees once she's here, but one thing at a time, right? She just needs to be born alive and well.