Ramblings

Warning: Random typing ahead, who knows what will come out!

I can't believe Lucy is 6m old already, and that we've started her on solids. Some days it seems like we just brought her home from the hospital. Other days, I'm amazed that she's growing and thriving like she is. The evening of her 6m check-up, we gave her food for the first time: carrots. She didn't seem impressed or unimpressed, so Jon and I were happy with the result. Since then, she's also tried squash and sweet potatoes. Today will be the first day that we give her 2 "meals" a day. We'll see how it goes.

Gus is doing well, overall. He continues to be a super big helper with Lucy, and they love each other so much. His school year is almost coming to an end with just over a month remaining in the school year. Then he'll be in Kindergarten! I can't believe it. Jon and I tried to visit the 4 kindergarten classrooms at his school, but we were only able to observe one teacher and had a very brief, and negative, interaction with another. So, Jon and I have emailed the other two teachers and will set times to go observe them. After that, we're going to speak with the principal about which teachers we would be happy with Gus having, and discussing our concerns about the lack of him learning anything new this year. As I've told Jon, I don't want Gus to have another crap year next year. I want him to enjoy school, have fun AND learn new things. I think he thinks school is okay right now, has some fun, but definitely isn't learning much of anything since he already knows it. So, hopefully that all goes well.

Lucy has a cold, and it's kicking her butt. She's been getting up every 3-4 hours since Sunday night because, I think, she's having a hard time breathing with how congested she is. It's making for some very long nights and some very tired days. I hope that she gets over this cold soon, but just yesterday the mucus was starting to turn yellow/green, so I've contacted her doctor to make sure that this cold is running a "normal" course and not turning into something else, like an ear infection or sinus infection.

Jon bought a pick-up truck last month. I'm not a fan of pick-up trucks, so I've only ridden in it once, but Gus and Jon go on truck adventures, so I'm glad that Jon has a vehicle that he likes to drive that allows them to go have fun together. I'm not glad, however, that we are back up to 2 car loans. Such is life.

I'm continuing to see a counselor about every two weeks. This will continue through the end of May, and then pick up towards the end of summer. My counselor's baby is due May 21, thus the break over the summer of not seeing her. The appointments have been going well, I think, especially since they are not solely focused on the grief for Oscar, Bella, Tittle and Firefly, but rather focused on making me feel better about myself. I'm hopeful that by continuing to see her and changing my perspective about myself, things will improve within me and throughout our whole family.

I'm a little nervous about summer coming up. At least right now, I have the mornings wherein I get a little bit of a break while Gus is at school and Lucy is napping. But come this summer, I won't have that. I also don't want Gus to just watch TV and play on his computer all day either. A few weeks ago Gus and I came up with themes for each day of the week, so hopefully I can invest some time over the next month to make them happen: Music Monday, No-TV Tuesday, Word Wednesday, Thought Thursday and Fun Friday.

When Lucy turned 6m old, we dropped off our first breastmilk donation: 69oz. I was glad to drop it off to help babies in the NICU, but can't help but fear that something will happen to me, Lucy will need the milk and she can't have it because I gave it away! I'm continuing to pump, but not nearly as much as I was, so I'm not adding too much to my freezer stock nowadays. I think, mostly, it's because Lucy's cold is causing her to eat all out of sorts. Like yesterday, she ate, not well, at 10am, but then wanted to eat again at 12pm. So, I'm not really pumping now because I think she may get uncomfortable and unable to breathe easily while eating, so she shortens how long she eats, and then gets hungry sooner than typical. So, we'll see what happens when she gets rid of this cold. Right now, for instance, she's been sleeping for the last 1.25h, and hasn't eaten in 4.5h. She'll be hungry when she wakes up, but is definitely more tired than hungry right now.

We're finally having someone over today to give us a quote on some electrical, plumbing and HVAC work we'd like to have done in the house. I hope it's not too much money and that we can get the work done.

Over Memorial Day Weekend we are making a trip back to Wisconsin. The Compassionate Friends has a service each Memorial Day, and we are planning on attending that, as well as seeing some family and friends while we're there. I hope we all travel well, get enough rest at the hotel and are able to enjoy our visit.