While talking with my mom over the phone last night, when she called to tell me that Margie had passed, there were times where tears came to my eyes, but it wasn’t out of sadness that Margie had died. It was more for my uncle, who had to watch his daughter and best friend travel the road to death. Part of me questions if I’ve lost my ability to be sad when an adult dies?
After hanging up with my mom, I spoke with Jon and cried, but not for Margie. I cried for my uncle. I cried for me because those feelings I had when Oscar, Bella and Tittle died rose to the surface. I don’t really have any strong emotions simply because she died. She was in pain. She wanted to die quickly. Does that make me a terrible person…that I don’t feel bad for her? That I’m not grieving for her? I wasn’t really close to her, and perhaps that makes a difference. I just can’t help wondering…are my emotions normal?