For the past several months, Gus has shared stories of things that have happened at school that have involved kids "fighting" and "pushing" him. I didn't really pay attention to the frequency of these incidents nor the names of the children involved. Last week that changed.
On Tuesday, Gus told me that a student, C, pushed him and another classmate helped him get away. On Wednesday, Gus told me that he didn't want to go to school, and that he wanted to have Mama School with me as his teacher. On Thursday, I was at a stop sign by the playground when I witnessed a student push Gus twice. The second push was hard enough to force Gus to the ground. When I got Gus into the van, I asked what happened on the playground, and he shared that C had pushed him. With reluctance, he also shared that he pushed C, only once, so that he could get up and get away.
Shortly before Christmas, Jon mentioned the fighting/pushing to Gus' teacher, who responded that she hadn't noticed anything. On Thursday, Gus said that he went straight to his teacher after being pushed to the ground and she responded with, "We'll try to have a better day tomorrow." What?!? Upon further discussion with Gus, it seems that C has not only pushing him on the playground, but also "fighting" Gus inside the classroom when the kids are to assemble for circle time.
Up until last week, I just kind of took what Gus said with a grain of salt. Did C just walk by to his seat and accidentally bump Gus and he was interpreting that as fighting? Were the pushes on the playground accidental, as happens a lot when there's a group of 4-year-olds? But, by Gus' reaction, verbally stating that he doesn't want to go to school, and the increased frequency with which he's sharing that he's getting pushed by C, this is affecting Gus in a big way. So, Jon and I emailed his teacher and principal last night. I chatted with the principal this morning, and a meeting is set up for Wednesday morning to go over what steps are being taken so that Gus can have a positive school experience.
I'm not saying that C is a bully, but the behavior is certainly one that could lead to C being a bully in the future. While I'm somewhat concerned for C, understandably I'm way more concerned for Gus. I realize, from Jon telling me, that boys pushing each other is something that happens and Gus is going to have to learn how to defend/stand up for himself. But he's only 4!! He shouldn't have to learn how to fight back when he's only 4.
I'm glad that the principal and teacher are taking this seriously, but I wish it never would have gotten to this point. Please send good thoughts our way that this gets resolved quickly and easily.
I hope this gets resolved soon! you are right....4 year olds should not have to defend themselves! it should be fun to go to school when you're 4!
ReplyDeleteI know, right?
DeleteWow, what a thing to be dealing with so young. My son is also 4 and, fortunately, no such incidents have occurred. You better believe I would be up at the school asking for meetings, too. That's just too young to have to deal with these things.
ReplyDeleteEspecially when we've taught him his whole life to not hurt anyone on purpose and to use his words!
DeleteI had the same reaction with my 5 year old told me a boy was being mean to him at recess. I never got the whole story out of him, but it was physical. I can't believe it starts so young with some kids! I was torn too, not wanting to be the mom that swoops in and makes a big deal about it, but also feeling like it's awful to expect him to have to stand up for himself so soon. I hope it's resolved quickly!
ReplyDeleteThank you. I just feel sad that this child, C, and the boy that accosted your son, are exhibiting bullying behavior this young. And that they are already being pegged by the teachers as kids that need to be more closely monitored for the safety of other students.
DeleteThis is a really hard situation, one I think you're handling very well. I hope that with the help of the principal and teacher the issue is resolved and Gus starts liking school again. Abiding with you.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much.
DeleteThis is so hard and would break my heart. I have a son named Gus too, but he's only 9 months old. I know that these days will come. Not looking forward to this sort of thing. Sorry you have to go through it. Especially sorry that he does.
ReplyDeleteThank you.
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