Counting and Waiting

I'm a very number-oriented person. I majored in math in college and taught math for two years. It should as no surprise to anyone that I've counted.

Gone, again

Jon is gone, again. It feels like I have so much in my head and heart that I need to process, but haven't had the time to sit down with myself and get it out. It was great having Jon home this past week, unexpectedly, but it didn't really give me a chance to sit with myself. It really was just an, "I'm so glad you're home, but you're flying out on Sunday so we have to get all this stuff done before you leave."

Excited vs. Anxious

Last Friday I had an appointment with my counselor. This is the same counselor I met with back in 2009 as we were preparing for our selective reduction. I saw her once or twice before the reduction, once or twice after the reduction. I still remember leaving her office after my appointment. I had cried in her office about the reduction, the emotions I was having with making that choice and carrying it out. I left her office that day grateful that I was able to meet with her, but never expecting to see her again.

31 Months

Dear Gus,

Today you turned 31 months old. Each and every day you are becoming more and more of a little boy…and more and more of a 2-year-old. Yesterday you had a tantrum because I stepped down one stair and shut the door behind me on the way to the basement. But, you also asked, just the morning before, to be picked up just laid with me in bed while I scratched your back and we slowly woke up together. Today I registered you for a 3-on-3 summer soccer program. You’re a little young, as you’re supposed to be 3 by the first game; you’ll be a month shy. You still love Curious George, but you’ve recently really like Dinosaur Train and have learned the word “hypothesis”, though you do say it a little incorrectly. At times you can be completely defiant, but other times you can be the sweetest helper, like when you saw me walking towards the dishwasher with dishes in my hand and opened the dishwasher for me. No matter that the dishwasher was full and already running.

On Saturday you had your last swim class of this session. You make me, daddy and your teachers smile so big. You put on your float belt, demanded a float bar and were off. Eventually, Daddy convinced you to get rid of the bar and you were having an even grander time. You wanted to swim in the deep end. You wanted to show off to your teachers. You didn’t want to get out of the pool. You were so happy that you were able to swim all on your own. It truly was a show of how much you are learning to love your independence…at times. But then there are the times when you still want to be carried or read to or have things done for you. It’s sometimes hard for me to make you do things on your own (like cleaning up your dishes after meals), because I know far too soon you will be all grown up and won’t ask me to do things for you anymore.

I love you, Gus, more than you know right now. I love that you’re here. I love that you’re mine. I love that you bring tears (happy and sad) to me. I love that you bring smiles to my face and heart.

I love you, Gus.

Love,

Mama

Update #2 on Exercise Goal

I'm not very pleased with how my progress is going on my exercise goal, but I'm still going to hold myself accountable and keep working on it, even if it takes me longer to achieve.

Raising a Son

I read a post today about a mom who lost her first child...a daughter. Her first rainbow is a son. She mentioned that she was nervous upon finding out that her first rainbow was a boy; that she didn't know if she had what was needed to be the mom of a son.

When Jon's Away So Am I

I hate very much dislike when Jon is gone. Jon's job provides our family with a nice income, and he enjoys his work, but I don't like when he's gone so much. By the time March is over, he will have been gone for 5 weeks since the beginning of December.

Update on Exercise Goal

It's been about a week since I posted my exercise goal, so I thought it best to give an update.

What I did with Their Room (Still Standing)

Today I’m linking up with Still Standing, who asks “What do you do with their room?”

Diabetes, Weight and Exercise Update

Knowing that I wanted to try to get pregnant again, and knowing that my diabetes needs to be in great control prior to conception, I've been working with the diabetes educator at the high-risk clinic, who I worked with during Oscar's and Bella's pregnancy and Tittle's and Gus' pregnancy.