Friday, September 13, 2013

Infuriating: Custody in divorce determined by genetics?

This story infuriates me.

A couple decided to have children. They needed to have IVF in order to conceive. Now the couple is getting divorced. The children are being separated (one with each parent) based on their genetics?!?

While I have not been in the infertility situation of using donor sperm, eggs or embryos, I find it utterly and completely offensive that this family is being split along genetic lines. I can't believe that these SIBLINGS are being split up based on who their genetic father is. In most divorce cases, custody is determined based on what is the best situation for the CHILDREN.

What does this say about heterosexual couples (only because not all states allow gay marriages, and therefore gay divorces) who need to use donors? If donor eggs were used, does that mean that in a divorce the child should automatically be raised by the father? What if donor sperm was used? Does this make the child's mother so much better because the child is genetically hers? And what about those families who used donor embryos??? God forbid they ever get divorced because neither parent has a genetic connection to the child. Then it must just be chaos.

Given, I do not know these two men. I do not know their family dynamics. This is just a stupid news story that I linked into from Yahoo.

Rant over.


  1. I can understand your rant. That is indeed a questionable way to decide a custody case. Like you said, what about cases of adoption? Just generally, what does this say to our societal attitudes about parents who build their families through a variety of non-traditional means? Ugh.

    1. I was just so upset that they were splitting the kids via genetics (because they could test for those) that I didn't even think about adoption or fostering!! Ugh is so true.