I don't even know where to start blogging again. I'm glad that I participated in the Capture Your Grief project, but it didn't leave much time for me to write about what's been going outside of that.
Gus had so much fun on Halloween. I should actually back up to October 27 when he first got to wear his costume. Our local zoo has Halloween at the Zoo, so families can come all dressed up and go trick-or-treating while walking around the zoo. I'm so glad we got there early, because by the time we we left, the line had at least doubled, if not tripled, in length. Gus had so much fun seeing all the costumes. He was a T-Rex, so we told him that when he received candy he could either say thank you or give a dinosaur roar. He said thank you to some, roared at others and gave low growls to some, too. It was, also, too cute seeing him point out others' costumes: "It's another T-rex." and "Look it's a Buzz Lightyear" were each said multiple times.
On Halloween itself, Gus' preschool wanted the kids to wear their costumes to school. After being reassured that the kids wouldn't be wearing them too long and would not wear them while eating or doing arts/crafts, we sent Gus off to school as a dinosaur. It was so cute seeing him brighten up when he saw the other kids in their costumes. He immediately started roaring at the other kids. As I was backing up from my parking spot after leaving, I could see him through the window, still roaring at the other kids.
That night, I got Gus home from school and waited for Jon to get home. He finally got home and we headed out...in the rain. It wasn't a downpour or anything, but I had an umbrella with me to keep me dry. Gus did not mind at all. This was his second year trick-or-treating, and the first without other kids with, so he was really able to run the show in deciding the order in which we went to houses, getting to ring the doorbell, saying (or not saying trick-or-treat) and saying thank you/roar after getting his candy.
After an hour, I was done and Gus had a full basket of candy, so off we went to Culver's, which was offering $2 kids meals to any kid in costume. So, there was a T-rex at Culver's that night. Towards the end of dinner, Gus asked if he could take his costume off, which we agreed to. It was then we found out that his pants were wet almost up to his knees! We finished dinner and headed home to get him out of his wet clothes.
I was fine, all day on Halloween, except when I was in bed at the end of the day. I couldn't help but begin to cry, wondering what Oscar, Bella and Tittle would have wanted to dress up as for Halloween and what it would have looked like to have them all trick-or-treating together. Such is the bittersweetness of my life :(
In September, an announcement from Minimed (MM) came out that he pump and sensor, for which I was in the clinical trial, had been approved by the FDA. I was stoked! I couldn't wait to get my hands on the new sensors (Enlites), as they'd be less painful and I could put them in more areas on my body. Unfortunately, the person I was working with at Minimed was a total jerk and wouldn't even petition my insurance company for a new pump because my current pump still has two years on its warranty (MM said I can't get the Enlites without a new pump). So, I began to investigate the other main CGM in the US: Dexcom. I had the opportunity to wear a Dexcom. While the transmitter has a much larger profile than the MM, and the Dexcom insertion was manual, I think it's something I could get used to. This was just he first step, though.
I had to decide if I was okay with wearing the receiver for the Dex, as well as my pump. I currently have both MM pump and CGM, so the receiver for my sensors is the pump. I figured that this inconvenience would be outweighed by the increased accuracy of the Dexcom (that I'd been reading about on the internet). I figured that at worst, I would keep my MM pump and use a Dexcom until my MM warranty was up, and then switch to the Animas Vibe (up for FDA approval) which will have Dexcom integration. Before making any final decisions, I wanted to speak about this with the Diabetes Nurse Educator (DNE) and the perinatal clinic, as I've been working with her since last November for preconception control and she would help manage my diabetes during pregnancy.
I had an appointment with her on October 29. After some discussion with her, and discussion with Jon, I decided that I would stick with the MM sensors, but my DNE assured me that she would be able to get me the new sensors without upgrading my pump!!! I should receive my new sensors next week, but still have a few old sensors to use up before I can delight in the easier insertion, and increase body real estate, of the Enlites.
Jon told me shortly before Halloween that he'd be fine if I went off birth control until 2014 and we tried for a miracle. He felt like we wasted our opportunity in April and wants another chance. After much conversation, making sure we're on the same page, I took my last BCP on November 2. I don't think that we'll have a miracle, that we'll conceive without medical intervention, but this is what Jon wants/needs to do, so I'm on board. So, as I stated, my last BCP was November 2, CD1 was November 6, and Jon flew out this morning for a business trip. He'll be back on Friday (CD10) and we will begin our every other day humpying to try for a miracle.
We also have his urology appointment on November 26, so I'm sure there will be a time frame in there that we will have to abstain from our EOD humpying for his SA's. I have no idea what will happen. I very rarely ovulate on my own, so we'll see. In April, I ovulated on CD25, which would put us at an ovulation date of November 30. We're planning to HPT on December 3 (just in case I ovulate on CD14, then again on December 14 (2w after CD25) and then again on January 1 (Oscar and Bella's due date). We will keep up our EOD humpying through December 14 unless I get AF or we get a positive HPT. If we get no AF and no HPT by January 1, 2014, and Jon's counts are where they were in 2009, then we will head back to the fertility clinic for Follistim and IUI's.
I really don't know how to prepare for Jon's appointment. The scenario above is based on receiving good news at his appointment, that his counts went down so much due to his body being in ketosis, and now that's he's NOT in ketosis, and hasn't been since the summer, his counts will be back to what they were. I don't know what we'll do or how I'll feel if his counts are still low.