Wednesday, November 13, 2013

"I have a sister named Bella."

Several weeks ago, shortly after Family Week at preschool, Jon was outside with Gus over in a neighbor's yard.

Neighbor Kid (6 years old): "Do you like Bella's (a different neighbor kid) dogs?"

Jon: "No, not really."

Gus: "I have a sister named Bella."

Neighbor Kid: "A pretend sister?"

Jon: "No, not a pretend sister. His sister is real. Before Gus was born we had twins that were born too soon and they died. They're in Heaven."

Gus: "Bella is in Heaven."

I'm so grateful that Jon was present during this conversation. If I was there, I would have balled my eyes out, as I did when Jon shared this with me. I love that Gus is bringing up his brothers and sister in general conversation, I just wish it didn't hurt so much that they can't be here with him.

A little while after that conversation, on a Thursday, I met Jon and Gus at Gus' sports class. After class was done I went to our bereaved parent support group while Jon took Gus home for bedtime. While I was at group, Jon sent me the following text message:

"Gus and I went outside to see the dark. Gus sees the stars and says 'I want to play with them. Maybe they are Oscar, Bella and Tittle.'"

Again, I'm so grateful that Gus feels comfortable speaking of his siblings, but if I was the one with Gus, and not Jon, I would have started balling.


  1. Oh Brianna, this description of Gus and the connection he has to his siblings has me choked up. How beautiful. I hope that when our little one arrives we'll be able to weave the presence of the ones who came before into their little life, as beautifully as you and Jon have obviously done.

    1. Thank you, Sadie. I think that was one of my biggest fears--that Gus would never know his siblings. And while it hurts to hear their names from his lips because he will never know them like siblings SHOULD know each other, I am so happy that he speaks of them and knows them as much as he possibly can.

  2. This is very sweet that Gus remembers, though he didn't know his siblings. It takes my breath away and makes me smile at the same time.

    1. That's the same response I get when he speaks his siblings' names, except I become a crying mess, too.