After much hesitation, I shared the link to this post on a FB group for moms with T1 diabetes. I was concerned about opening up my private space to so many people, but I hoped for the best and posted the link. Today, I received a comment on this post, which I have deleted. The comment was posted anonymously and cowardly, but the person cared enough to go through the process to post it. I'm not sure what sort of reaction they were hoping for, but if it was to hurt me, check. If it was to make me feel ashamed for my choices, nope. If it was to frighten me away from my space to write what I want to write about, nope.
"You lost your twins bc . . . . Just saying."
The text I removed is irrelevant to this post. At first, I was hurt. How could someone say that to a bereaved parent? And the second sentence, adding insult to injury, as if I should have already known what they were telling me. Well, of course I had already thought what they commented. I think it is natural for every bereaved parent to scrutinize every single moment prior to their children dying and wondering, "if I would have done this differently, would my kids still be alive?"
My second emotional response was, great, now I can't even write about the comment because they'll read the posts and comment even more, and via snowball effect, I felt like I would have to turn off commenting and either make my blog private or just abandon it altogether.
My third emotional response was "No". No, I'm not going to let someone make me feel bad for something that happened in my past, that I can't go back and change and for a decision that was made with care, concern and facts known at the time.
So, to Anonymous who made the comment today, if your intent was to hurt me, it worked, but only momentarily. I will not be shamed for sharing my history on my blog. I will not be shamed for the choices that my husband and I made together with our unique set of circumstances leading up to that decision. Finally, I will not be afraid to write my own thoughts in my own space.