Wednesday, August 7, 2013

I need to calm down

I'm have serious, for me, anxiety issues. It's only 2dpo and I can't stop being anxious for the result of this cycle.

If my mind is focused and occupied (in a meeting, a task at work that requires thought, in a conversation with someone, playing with Gus) my anxiety is fine, but as soon as my mind is not engaged, I'm not able to breathe as deeply and I'm constantly thinking about what happens if this cycle is negative.

Yesterday I attended the infertility support group that Jon and I attended as we were trying to conceive Oscar and Bella. I'm glad I went, but I didn't get out if it entirely what I was hoping. There were two other couples there; both were trying to conceive their first children. I remember when we attended group in the past, and people would talk about getting pregnant and then miscarrying. I remember not being able to connect with least they were able to get pregnant, would run through my mind. So, I'm sure that the two couples last night were thinking the same thing about me, that at least I had Gus at home.

I'm glad I went, because I think that I offered some help to the others there, but I had hoped to get some ideas or techniques of how to make it through the wait without the anxiety, and I didn't get that.

For anyone out there that's reading this...any quick, easy to learn and easy to implement techniques on how to LET GO of the anxiety? If this is how I'm going to feel the entire 2ww, I'm going to go insane, cause myself issues and make my uterus inhospitable due to the stress hormones.

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