Monday, October 10, 2016

Capture Your Grief 2016-Day 10: Symbols + Signs

This post is part of Carly Marie's Capture Your Grief.

Do you have a symbol that represents your child? Maybe it is a butterfly, tree or bird etc. Share how you came to find that symbol and what it means to you. Do you believe your children send you signs at all? Have you had any? How did they help you?

We do have symbols that represent our kids:

Oscar: Blue and giraffes
Bella: Pink and giraffes
Tittle: Green, camo and hummingbirds
Firefly: White, silver and fireflies

How their animals and colors came to be was over time, what felt right and wasn't forced. It was about 8 months after Oscar and Bella were born, I was at the mall and it just struck me that Oscar and Bella were giraffes. It just felt right. Memorial Day 2010, about 4 months after Tittle died, Jon turned and told me that Tittle was a hummingbird. Hummingbirds have the fastest heartbeats of all bird, and Tittle's heart beat fast for as long as it was beating. Firefly's is pretty obvious as to why her animal is a firefly, but her name was, again, something that just felt right. Quoting Jon, "This pregnancy was like a firefly. You only see them at night and you only see them for a few short seconds. When you see them it is a brief flash. This was our firefly pregnancy."

Do I believe my kids send me signs? I do. I really think they do. I think that the spirits of my kids are still out there somewhere, and when they take a break from whatever it is they are doing and they want to say hi, I think they do, in a beautiful sky, an unexpected animal of theirs showing up somewhere or a friends letting us know they saw something that reminded them of our kids. 

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