The TWW begins

Well, the IUI's are done and the two week wait has officially begun.

A full weekend: June 21-23

So much crammed into last weekend, that this may be a long one. And is tells why I've been away from the blog for a bit.

My magic dose

I know I've been off the blog for a few days, but I'm okay with that. A lot has been going on that has been keeping me busy, which doesn't leave much time for me to write. I'm working on a separate post about what's been keeping me busy, but I wanted to write about what's been happening at the RE since my last RE post.

Alone

I'm feeling in a really bizarre place. I know that it has to do with Firefly and my unresponsiveness this cycle, but that doesn't make me feel any less bizarre.

Ultrasounds

Jon and I went in last Wednesday (June 12) for our CD3 u/s. RE told us that the only thing that could prevent us from being able to move forward with treatments this cycle would be a leftover cyst from our Firefly cycle.

Temporary, and Positive, Change in Focus

I was going to write a post about body issues, and that sometimes I really, really dislike how my body functions. I may still write that post, but last night, after dinner, my body issues didn't matter.

It's Official: Chemical Pregnancy

The beta hCG this morning wasn't really necessary, as I started spotting red last night and had some major cramping, but Jon and I still wanted the blood test this morning to make sure my hcg levels were coming down appropriately...and they are. My beta this morning was 3.7.

Pretty Sure it's Chemical

"A chemical pregnancy happens when a fertilized egg does not attach itself to the uterine wall. This is also known as a very early miscarriage. According to ACOG, the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, chemical pregnancies account for 50-75% of all miscarriages. Unlike miscarriages, which typically occur before the 20^th week of gestation, chemical pregnancies occur just after implantation. In cases where the woman is not expecting to become pregnant, she may not realize she was since menstruation bleeding usually occurs around the same time. If she is expecting and takes a test, it could lead to false positive pregnancy test results." (Source)

Struggling and hoping

I'm really struggling since our news yesterday. I don't know how to feel. I don't know what to expect. I don't know what to do.

Why will this rollercoaster not end?

I tested positive yesterday and today at home, so since today was 14dpo, I called the fertility clinic and scheduled my blood draw, which came back at 22.5 mIU/ml.

This was totally not what I was expecting the results to be. I know that 22.5 is within the normal range, but it is definitely too low for me. Around 100 would have been good for me. Are we experiencing a chemical pregnancy? Did I implant late and was the cramping I had on 7dpo not really implantation cramping? Am I a slow-starter for hcg and we just did the blood test early?

With Oscar and Bella, we had our blood test at 17dpo and with Gus and Tittle it was 16dpo, so I really don't have a true frame of reference for what my starting hcg levels are. So, we go back on Monday (18dpo) for another test. If I'm doubling every 2 days, I should be at 90, which is still really low for me to be comfortable. Because we know that anything can go wrong at any time, we have already shared our pregnancy with family and friends, but also to ask for support in the case that this little one joins Oscar, Bella and Tittle. If you pray, please pray for us, that this is just some early pregnancy drama that we will look back at, once we have this baby home, and say, "You've been a stinker your entire life!"

Feeling ????

As the title implies, I'm not really sure how I'm feeling, as it changes quite frequently throughout the day.

Jealousy

Today was supposed to be a day filled with activity to keep my mind off of my impending official HPT, but it turned out to be really not.