So much crammed into last weekend, that this may be a long one. And is tells why I've been away from the blog for a bit.
Friday, June 21:
I volunteered to be one of the guest posters on No Good Eggs while Kim is on a wonderful vacation. On Friday I submitted my guest post. I'm not sure the exact date that my post will be up on her blog, but I'm excited. As I stated in my welcome message, this blog started out to be, and continues to be, for me; a place for me to write and work through my thoughts and feelings, as well as just document life. The intent wasn't to start with a bang and have a boatload of readers, but if I gathered readers along the way, in an organic way, then I'd be happy. So, for the majority, I don't publicize my blog in an effort to build my readership. Yes, I'm guest posting, but the intent was to help Kim out, not gain readers for me. I'm excited and nervous to see what others think of my words/thoughts on knowing when to try again after a loss.
Friday evening we met some friends at HuHot for dinner. This was good for me and Jon, in a couple different ways. For me, it was good to get out of the house and interact with people. Not only did I get to talk about Firefly and trying again, but I got to be reminded that there are other things going on in the world than just Jon's and my journey to a second child at home.
Saturday, June 22:
Saturday we had our RE appointment, which left me feeling down because we still had no follicular growth. After the appointment, we took Gus to the library. It was so wonderful to see him running around, grabbing books off the shelf when I told him it was time to choose what he wanted to bring home, and having him spell his first name when putting in our entry for the weekly library drawing. He's getting to be such a big boy that it amazes me.
We then met up with the same friends that we went to dinner with on Friday. Jon and I are considering whether a Costco membership is worth the price. Will we save enough money to pay for the membership? Well, they have a membership and offered to let us tag along while they did their shopping. While Jon was busy taking pictures of foods and prices (so that we can enter it in a spreadsheet and compare prices to our regular grocery store). Gus and his friend chilled in the cart while M and I got to talk. It was just really, really good for me to be able to be "normal", to ask her how things are going with her life and kind of forgetting that the focus is always on me. Yes, we did talk about our appointment that morning, but we talked about other things, too.
After Gus woke from his nap, it was time to head to Jon's annual company picnic. It was held at a miniature golf place, but it's not just miniature golf. There are 2 miniature golf courses outside and one inside. There are remote control boats, an outdoor climbing wall, batting cage, water balloon battle stations, combo trampoline/basketball. I think Gus had a great time. I know Jon did, as he tried his hand at rock-climbing, something he definitely would not have been able to do prior to all of his weight loss. But, at the end of the night, Gus was giving me signs that something was not quite right: he said his throat hurt (pointing to his tummy) and he was very quiet and tired-looking. I told Jon we needed to get home ASAP. We drove home, got in the house, and as Gus was resting his head on Jon's shoulder he threw up, all down Jon's back. Jon then tried to transition Gus to his kitchen helper so that he could get sick in the sink, but Gus threw up on Jon's front and on the floor. We then spent the next 30-45 minutes checking his temperature, giving him Tylenol and sips of water while Jon snuggled with Gus under a blanket due to some chills. At the end of the night, we figured it was just a 24-hour bug and he's be fine in the morning.
Sunday, June 23:
And he was. Gus was absolutely fine in the morning. He ate breakfast and breakfast snack well, so we did not cancel his playdate at I's house, a classmate from day care. While Gus was having a ton of fun at the zoo with I and his family, checking on I's neighbor's chicken and being a silly almost-3-year-old, Jon and I went to the grocery store. While Jon worked on picking up all the items on the grocery list, I was in charge of writing down prices and quantities of the foods we took down at Costco. Let me just say that we have not yet entered the prices from Woodman's into the three page spreadsheet from Costco. Jon was done filling the cart about 20 minutes before I was done with the spreadsheet. My mind was completely fried.
We got home, put the groceries away, I wolfed down lunch, and then went to pick Gus up so that we could head home for his nap.When I got to I's house, both boys were eating lunch, being crazy, speaking in gibberish, and I fell in love with Gus all over again. Sometimes it is hard to think about all that Jon and I have been through. I love ALL of our kids, but my relationship is so different than the ones I have with Oscar, Bella and Tittle. Gus' relationship evolves, changes, is added to, is dynamic. Oscar's, Bella's and Tittle's, for now, does evolve, does change, I attempt to add to it, but it is singular. I know that I'm doing what I can on Earth to maintain and add to the relationships with them, but I know that it isn't until I've very old, when I join them in Heaven, that we will have the type of relationship that I currently have with Gus.