Pretty Sure it's Chemical

"A chemical pregnancy happens when a fertilized egg does not attach itself to the uterine wall. This is also known as a very early miscarriage. According to ACOG, the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, chemical pregnancies account for 50-75% of all miscarriages. Unlike miscarriages, which typically occur before the 20^th week of gestation, chemical pregnancies occur just after implantation. In cases where the woman is not expecting to become pregnant, she may not realize she was since menstruation bleeding usually occurs around the same time. If she is expecting and takes a test, it could lead to false positive pregnancy test results." (Source)

 I'm fairly certain that we are in the midst of a chemical pregnancy. Jon wanted to continue testing, so this morning, I peed in a cup, then went to help Gus in his bathroom, while Jon took care of the rest of the test. The line was barely noticeable today. Jon seemed much more upset, in the moment, than I was. Part of me is relieved that we have some certainty with what is happening this cycle, as well as the fact that this is likely NOT an ectopic pregnancy.

I haven't started bleeding yet, but I think it's coming, as I've had some very light brownish discharge and infrequent cramping. Hopefully it will arrive soon so that I can get further confirmation that my body is doing what it's supposed to with my decreasing levels. I think we'll continue with the blood draw on Monday, just to make sure my hcg levels are coming down appropriately, and then we'll start another round of fertility treatments. I don't know if we'll be able to start meds right away on CD3 or if there is some other plan. According to the website referenced above, "it is recommended that you wait at least one regular menstrual cycle" before trying to conceive again. That's great, unless you don't get regular menstrual cycles. So, I'm not sure if we'll be able to just start again or if my RE has some other plan.

I'm not really sure how I'm feeling. I'm sad, of course, that we're not pregnant,  but I'm uncertain about whether or not we recognize this as a child? Jon does not; he cannot if we are to try again. I don't know what I think and feel, which I'm okay with right now.