Monday, June 10, 2013

It's Official: Chemical Pregnancy

The beta hCG this morning wasn't really necessary, as I started spotting red last night and had some major cramping, but Jon and I still wanted the blood test this morning to make sure my hcg levels were coming down appropriately...and they are. My beta this morning was 3.7.

I know in my previous post I wrote about how I was struggling with my feelings about this pregnancy. I think my feelings have settled down. I think there will always be a special place in my heart for this pregnancy. For two short days I thought we were going to have another child, but then when the first beta came back I disconnected myself myself and no longer associated this pregnancy with a child.

Between the time that I knew I was pregnant with a low beta and totally disconnected, I already associated an animal with this pregnancy: a firefly. I don't know much about fireflies, but I do know that when it's dark out, and so are they, you see them for a short time, and then they're gone. At least for now, that's how I'm thinking of this pregnancy. Not a child, but not a failed cycle.


I spoke with our RE and we do not have to wait to try again. So, I go in on Wednesday for a CD3 u/s and labs. When I asked him what we were going to do about dosing, he kind of chuckled and told me that was a very good question :) I think by starting at 50 we stimmed too fast, and that could have contributed to the incomplete implantation. But, would starting at 25 be too low of a dose and not grow any follicles? After a short discussion, I am going to start with 50 units on Wednesday, 25 on Thursday, 50 on Friday and 25 on Saturday, so that it averages out to 37.5units/day. Then, we go in on Sunday (Father's Day) for our next u/s. Fingers crossed that this works to grow ONE follicle at a nice (not too fast, not too slow) pace.


  1. Oh Brianna, I am so sorry. What a rollercoaster you've been on these last few weeks. I know there aren't words to make it easier (I wish this was all easier for people in our shoes), but please know you are being thought of. Sending love my friend.