Monday, February 17, 2014

Fears of Moving

I don't even know where to start. It feels like there are so many things that need to happen in such a short amount of time that I'm feeling completely overwhelmed by them, as well as thinking about our life after the move.

  • Jon's insurance doesn't begin until 30 days after he begins employment. Let's assume he begins April 1. His insurance will then begin on May 1. I can time it so that I don't have an end date at my job until after April 1, which means that we'll be covered through April 30. The only downfall is that done of the IA doctors will be covered. I'm supposed to have by 1st trimester screen on 4/2 and begin P17 injections on 4/30. Do I stay in WI and begin care here, only to transition around 16w, (which is going to be very stressful with losing Oscar and Bella at 17w6d)? Do we pay out of pocket to have the appointments in IA in April? There is one glimmer of hope. I can have my doctors in WI send in a prior authorization for temporary coverage in IA. I would then be able to receive care in IA at the same coverage level in WI, and would be able to have my providers be consistent throughout the pregnancy, instead of switching. But, there's the big question of whether or not the birth center docs can provide me care.
  • In a town 25minutes away there is a hospital with a birth center and diabetes care center (who can provide care for me during pregnancy as well as after, so I don't think I'll need to find an endocrinologist, with the closest one being 1 hour and 45 minutes away). I phoned them last week and talked to both. The diabetes care center didn't seem to have any issues providing me care. When I talked to the OB/Gyn clinic, however, they said they needed to review my medical records. If I was too high-risk, they would refer me to the nearest MFM, a 1 hour and 45 minute drive away. This wouldn't be so bad, if I wasn't going to be a SAHM. Gus is not going to do well with a 3-hour car drive (possibly weekly) and then at the end of pregnancy twice weekly. Add into it that he starts pre-K in mid-August, and that complicates things, too. Gus will be in school MTRF from 8-11, and W from 8-10. There's no way I can get to the MFM and back only while he's in school. So, then it will be finding a flexible care provider (in this new town) that can take care of Gus while I'm at the MFM. I submitted the request to have my medical records sent on Friday, so now it's a waiting game until I hear that the IA docs have reviewed them and what they've decided.
  • Jon's insurance doesn't not include dental. Now, none of us have any huge dental issues (other than some cavities), but I am one that likes to go every 6 months to make sure that things are all looking good. We started taking Gus on his first birthday for a visit to the dentist office, and he's gone every 6 months since then. I'm not willing to not get dental care, but is it worth it to search out and pay for insurance or should we just pay for dental care out-of-pocket? Jon's going to check with the HR person to see if she knows what other families do.
  • There's also the finding of new primary care doctors for us all and an eye doctor for me.
  • There's also the whole issue of where to live! We own a house in WI. We bought in 2006 when prices were high and there were many programs to buy without a down-payment. Given that we can sell our current house, we will not have a down-payment for the next house. Why not rent? There is not a rental market where we'll be living in IA. Houses are WAY cheaper than they are where we live in WI, so we should hopefully be able to do a VA loan (no down-payment required) for the IA purchase. Jon thinks that because the IA houses we're looking at are so much cheaper than what we currently have, that we'll have enough VA eligibility to get approved for the IA purchase before we close on the WI house. I really, really hope so, because I don't want to have to move twice in a short period of time with Gus. I think that will just be too much for him. Plus, we can't just keep paying for 2 mortgages indefinitely, so we need our WI house to sell! We met with a listing agent yesterday, and as soon as Jon's offer is 100% certain, we'll feel comfortable putting the WI house on the market. But, we have A LOT of cleaning and organizing to do before the house will be ready for showings. We're going to clean the house room by room. Yesterday we accomplished the 1/2 bath and the living room. The 3 bedrooms won't be too bad (just organizing and removing clutter). It's the kitchen/dinette and basement that I'm most worried about. The kitchen is where I pile papers and all counters are currently covered with stuff (Gus' art from school, the dish rack, random papers that I know I need to keep but don't have a home yet). I think the basement will go okay. People don't expect a spotless basement, but Gus has lots of toys down there, we have our exercise equipment and all of the baby supplies and Gus' clothes since he was born.
  • Then there's other stuff that is not terrible, just a nuisance. I've been with the same hair stylist since 2006. Because I have naturally curly hair it took me about 6 months to find her. She's going to see if she can find a Redken salon near where we'll be living, as that will give me a heads-up to those who are trained like she is.
  • But then there's other major fears that I have about being a  SAHM. Will I be good at it? Is Gus as smart as he is only because he's been in daycare or preschool since he was 14w old? How am I going to manage (patience-wise) being with him all day until he starts Pre-K in the fall? How are we going to make friends in such a small town? His birthday is in mid-August, so is this going to be the saddest birthday ever because he won't have any friends to invite? How it is going to be having two at home at the same time? How am I going to function on so little sleep with Bean while being the best mama I can for Gus?
And on, and on, and on. There are just too many balls in the air right now, with no certainties, and that's what I want. I want to know the path, and if not the full path, then at least the outlines of the path.


  1. This makes me stressed just reading this! Good luck with all of these decisions.

  2. This won't help with the doctor decision, but with the friends maybe. Check out the site called I found TWO great play groups for Isaac, and a photography group for me there. This way while you're making several transitions you can also be making some friends for you and Gus! We moved when Isaac was 5 months old, but that was only across the county--I can not at this point imagine moving out of state!

  3. Phew. I found moving as a couple stressful (although it involved languages I don't speak very well), but moving with a small kid and while pregnant adds some entirely new layers. Wishing you the best of luck and a transition that is as smooth as possible.

    BTW, did you have P17 shots in your pregnancy with Gus, too?

    1. Thanks. We did not have P17 shots with Gus, so the P17 would be an addition to care because of the pre-term contractions with him.