And now we wait...

As decided, I took the trigger on Monday night. Last night I was awakened a few times while rolling over in bed due to ovary pain. This morning was our IUI.

Upon waking this morning, my abdomen was still tender near my ovaries. I showered and got dressed, work Jon up and headed downstairs to wait for Gus to wake. He came downstairs and wanted to pretend sleep while we waited for Jon to come down. Luckily, Gus didn't accidentally cause me pain. During breakfast Gus was asking questions about when he was a baby. At one point Jon responded, "If we bring home a baby you'll get to see all of it." I really, really hope Gus gets to be a big brother to a living sibling.

Jon left the house and headed to his 7:30am appointment while I finished up everything at home and dropped Gus off at preschool before I driving over to the clinic. I ended up getting to the clinic around 8:20am and our IUI wasn't until 9:30am. The receptionist mentioned, nicely, that I was early. It just didn't make any sense to drive back home or drive to work between drop-off and IUI, so Jon and I hung out in the waiting room. I kept trying not to think about why we were there, wondering about Jon's numbers and getting anxious about waiting for the next two weeks.

We were called back by CNA. Jon said he was going to stop in the bathroom and then head to the procedure room. Luckily, I didn't have to wait for Jon before hearing his numbers. 155.2 million!!!!!! That's right, 155.2 million sperm post-wash. This is far and above the best numbers Jon has ever had. the cycle that we got pregnant with Oscar and Bella, we had 38.5 million and 23.5 million for the two IUI's. For Gus and Tittle we had 28 million and 41.4 million for the two IUI's. So, we know we have really good sperm. Now we just need them to get to a mature egg, take a week-long trip through the fallopian tube and nestle into my "beautiful" lining (yes, Dr. P called it beautiful on Monday).

I was so happy upon hearing Jon's numbers that I momentarily forgot that we don't have the best eggs...that I don't have the best eggs for conception. I wish one was a bit bigger to ensure maturation. I wish that we could have a nice mature egg with these great numbers for our IUI. I know that there's nothing I can do to change the outcome, but I wish we had a better situation going into the IUI.

I'm still having tenderness near my ovaries, and I'm hoping that goes away in the next day or two. With my E2 at 2700 I think it's inevitable that I'll get OHSS. Part of me says, "Bring it on" because then I'll be able to tell (by whether it goes away or not) if we're pregnant prior to test day. The other part of me says, "I don't want it!" Any labs drawn at our fertility clinic will not be covered, regardless of what the labs are for, so thinking about possibly paying $1000 for OHSS labs is not something I look forward to.

So, the wait officially begins. We are not testing early. We are going to try to live in the moment and not thing about what might be. We are going to try to honor Tittle this Saturday and Firefly next Thursday. I'm going to try to be as patient as I can be and hope I don't stress out too much.

*sigh*