Wednesday, January 29, 2014

1 week down and 1 to go

I'm now one week through my TWW and I'm still as anxious as ever.

I was half-tempted to test this morning, to celebrate making it one whole week, but I didn't see how that would do me any good. If the test was negative, it would just mean the trigger had officially left my body. If it was positive, it would just mean the trigger had not officially left my body. No substantial or concrete news would have been confirmed by a test this morning. I'm still debating whether I'm just swollen or fat. It's to the point that with one pair of pants I have to wear my belt a hole looser, and the pants I'm wearing today I had to do the rubberband trick in order to get them fastened. I've already decided that if I'm not pregnant, I'm going to refocus my energy to exercise. Not having my clothes fit because I'm pregnant is one thing. Not having my clothes fit because I'm getting fat, is not something I'm happy with. It will mean a lot of tough work, managing diabetes and getting up early, but I'm hating the way my non-pregnant body's looking these days.

Yesterday during the day I kept thinking about how it felt like I wasn't as bloated, but by the end of the night, I looked like I did when I was 3-4 months pregnant with Gus. Today, I'm again feeling like I'm not as bloated (right now) as I had been earlier. I'm still having the "shallower" breathing, but I don't think it's OHSS-related; I think it's just stressing out over waiting for another week.

To top it off, Jon found a job to apply for. The description sounded very appealing to Jon, so he pursued it, knowing that it might not pay enough, they might not like him for the job, or he might not like it once he found out more information. Today was the initial phone interview, and he said he felt good after it was done. The next step would be an in-person interview in which they would want me and Gus to come, too. The salary that Jon provided that he'd like was in the range they were thinking, which would make it so that I could be a SAHM (I'm not sure how I feel about that). All this sounds great, right? It would mean selling our house, moving to another state that is 4.5 hours from where we currently live, 7 hours from my hometown and in the middle of nowhere. We would need to live in a town that's only 4000 people. The nearest mall is 25 minutes away. The nearest RE is 2 hours away! And what about if we get pregnant before we move (assuming Jon gets an offer and accepts)? Nearest NICU, MFM, endocrinologist? I grew up in a small town, but the nearest big city was a 10-minute drive and was around 100,000 people. Currently, I live in a city that  is 233,000 people. I'm used to the big city conveniences. I'm used to having choices in movie theaters, where they play more than one movie! I'm used to having a McDonald's in the same place that I live!

A lot needs to happen before any type of decision would really need to be made (in-person interview or 2, job offer, thorough research of where we'd have to live). This potential job prospect is helping Jon focus on something other than the TWW, but it's causing me stress during an already stressful time. I want to support Jon, but I also don't want to be super stressed out, either. I really need a future fairy right about now, so I can ask her what's going to happen.


  1. The cycle we got pregnant with injectables I had zero OHSS and had 5 eggies...tenderness yes, no true OHSS. Then there was the cycle I didn't get pregnant and ended up in the ER with OHSS at 8 days post IUI-boy was that depressing to find out via blood and urine that I was so not pregnant--so don't use that as a barometer to pregnancy or not. I'm curious as to what job would need a wife and child to go the interview--do share more!

    1. Jon says I can't really count on the presence of OHSS to know whether or not I'm pregnant, but you know we search for anything to tell us early.

      During Jon's phone interview yesterday they already started trying to sell the city to Jon. They're the ones that brought up having me come. I think because it is such a small town and 2 hours from the nearest metropolitan area, they have recruiting issues. So, they know that they not only need to sell the job to Jon, but they need to sell living there to me. I see this at my current workplace. They have a candidate come in for a first face-to-face interview, but if they're one of the finalists, then part of the 2-3 day interview includes meeting with a realtor or viewing schools, depending on what the candidate and family are looking for.