Sunday, October 6, 2013

Capture Your Grief Day 6: Ritual

This post is part of Carly Marie's Capture Your Grief.

Do you have any rituals to help you get through the day? Maybe it is a daily affirmation or prayer. It could be that you light a candle or recite a mantra, etc. Do you do anything meaningful on special dates for your baby?

There are several rituals that I do, though not all of them are every day.

I have a digital photo frame that I keep at work. Part of my routine when I get to my desk each day is to plug in the frame, turn it on, wait for the first few pictures and say good morning to my kids.

I don't remember when, but at some point in our early grief, Jon and I began lighting candles when we were thinking of or missing Oscar and Bella. It was a non-verbal way for us to communicate with each other that we were having a tough day. While the candles have changed to being a set of four and four specific colors, what hasn't changed is that if we're missing our kids, or having a tough grief day, we light the candles.

I have quite a few pieces of jewelery that I wear every day that I will share more about on Day 23.

On Oscar's and Bella's birth day, we give donations to a local food pantry, with the caveat being that we choose meals that we think they would have picked out during a family grocery shopping trip.

For Tittle's month, we invite friends from our bereaved parent support group to our home. It started out with the intention to make snow angels, but the weather hasn't always cooperated :(

And there are balloons. For Oscar's and Bella's birthday we've always released balloons, so that they can have some balloons at their party in Heaven.

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